Finding Your Value in Obedience

It's almost amazingly ironic how when I am in moments of indecision, God finds a way to guide me toward decisiveness.

I have been in a period of transition in my life. I am living in my hometown with my parents and in the midst of searching for a career that is sustaining to me in all ways - financially, emotionally, and mentally. Going through this period of transition hasn't been easy. It has forced me to go to God, listen to what He is saying, and submit to His will. I've had to do what I despise doing - be obedient.

I've always considered myself a strong woman. Strong-willed and strong-minded, I struggle with authority. I like to be in charge of myself, only listening to what my mind tells me is the right thing to do and guiding myself. Anytime someone has told me what to do or tried to be in a position above me to direct me to do something, I would feel so angry. I would automatically assume they were placing me in a box of inferiority - looking down upon me as ignorant and incapable.

But God stopped me. He said, "Why are you placing yourself in a platform of superiority to the point where help cannot come to you?"

Whew. Me? I don't think I'm better than anyone, I thought. Then I had to think about my actions over the years, times where I didn't accept help because I believed I could do it better on my own or that I was better off figuring it out myself. And in those situations, all it did was place more stress on my shoulders. My body and aura was tense, my mind was ridden with fear of the future and figuring out how to make it on my own. I was in a mindset of extreme ego. It's easy to do so in today's society.

We pride ourselves on being self-made. If you make it all on your own with no help, you're the ultimate hard worker. And that is true to an extent. Being self-made is an incredible accomplishment and the hard work is admirable. But, someone reaching a platform of success alongside a team of help along the way is equally as admirable, and deserves no shortcomings of admiration. But that mindset of self-made being better than accepting help comes from a place of ego and self-pride. Whether we know it or not, our steps are always ordered by God and by accepting His help and being obedient to His purpose, we are allowing our blessings that He already ordained for us to come through.

In Luke chapter 5, Jesus was preaching to the crowd around Him using a platform on Peter's boat. Peter had been fishing all night long and hadn't been able to catch one fish. Even through his feelings of defeat, he still helped Jesus to be able to reach a multitude of people to preach His message. When Jesus finished preaching, He wanted to feed the people so He asked Peter to let down the net so they could catch some fish to feed. Peter was hesitant. He was a seasoned fisherman and hadn't caught all night, so he felt with his expertise, he knew there were no fish in the area to catch. His reply to Jesus is so telling to how we often choose to obey Christ. He said,

"Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets."

- Luke 5:5

The power in that sentence was him saying, "Because you say so...". He wasn't sure they would catch anything, but because Jesus asked him to, he obeyed. When he let down the nets, Jesus demonstrated the power of His miracles. Peter and his crew pulled in two nets full of fish, despite their lack thereof the previous night. Peter was blessed because he chose to obey Him.

"Imagine what I could do for you," God said, "if you obeyed me and stayed home for only awhile. It's not forever, but imagine the blessings I can yield for you from you taking this time to build."

God is allowing me to find my value in obedience in this stage. He's ordering my steps so I can yield the blessings He has for me. And for that seen and unseen, I am grateful.